cdl.me

Tonight I went to a party, and by “went to a party” I mean left my house for half an hour, realized why I hate leaving the house and came home. Here is a dramatic retelling of the half an hour I left the house.

DRAMATIC RETELLING STORY 1:

It was a Friday like any other. Christopher sat at the computer listening to Friday by Rebecca Black over and over when his sister came out of her room

“We’re leaving at ten to six, so walk around to Kirt’s to get your costume”

How could he have forgotten that tonight he had a birthday party to attend.

“Ugh” he said as he got up, being too fat to stand without making noises since he was 12. He put on shoes and walked to Kirt’s and got the costume.

After walking home and getting changed into the costume he left for the party.

After a short drive he got to Irish Finnegans and walked in to where the “party people” where sitting. There were a lot of people there. If there was one thing Christopher hated more than people it was people who were drinking. He sat down and pulled his phone out and replied to some tweets.

“Aren’t you drinking?”

Christopher looked up. A guy dressed as Duff Man was talking to him

“No, I don’t drink”

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Duff Man replied in a tone of voice that sounded like Christopher had just said “Sometimes I rape and murder young girls and wear their skin to their parents house then anally rape their mother”

“Nothing, I just don’t drink”

“…Okay?” Duff Man sounded as if he had never heard of someone not drinking. As if all his closest friends were just constantly plastered (which they probably were)

After a few more people asked Christopher why he wasn’t drinking, he decided it best to just leave. He didn’t want to spend the next 4 hours around drunken fools yelling at him.

So then he went home, ripped his costume off and browsed reddit for the rest of time.

The End.