cdl.me

The Political Nerd:

If anything political happens, be it a protest in Libya, The gay marriage bill, or just a good ole’ joke at Julia Gillard’s expense they’re there to tweet about it. They’re the tweeter whose tweets you don’t read, but just skim over and mainly follow because you’ve followed them so long it would just be awkward.

The Day-To-Day-Tweeter:

The most common kind of Tweeter, they’re timeline will be filled with “Off to works”s and “HOME TIME YAY!”. Their tweets stay so similar every day it’s like they want someone to memorize their schedule and kidnap them away from their sad lives.

The Comedian:

The number of these Tweeters is growing more and more every day. You know the kind, the ones whose timelines are just shitty puns and jokes on current events. The kind that you can tell grew up in a house with no love so now they tweet jokes, constantly refreshing Favstar hoping that just maybe someone favorited their tweet and that by amassing enough trophies they’ll finally win the approval of their parents.

The Link Nerd:

Trouble somewhere in the world? America’s credit downgraded again? They’ll link to it before it even happens. The type of Tweeter who is constantly on news sites just waiting for something big enough to break so they can tell their followers as fast as they can. It’s recommended you never follow more than one of them.

The @Replier:

Tweet about having lunch, they’ll reply. Tweet about a parent dying, they’ll reply. @replying someone else, they’ll jump into the conversation. They @reply to absolutely anything but it’s never interesting. They’re the Twitter equivalent of a kid screaming “LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME!”

The Live Tweeters:

If a new show is premiering, they’ll be there; Twitter launched and ready to go. While normal people are home with friends or family to hear their comments on the show, they’re home alone and they’ll be DAMNED if they’ll let their witty remarks go to waste. Their timeline will be filled with “WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?! #event” and “Ugh, can he just shut up #event”. Stay away from them at all costs.

The Vague Tweeter:

“Wish he’d just tell me” “It happened again” These and many more vague tweets will be found on this person’s Twitter. Wondering what they’re talking about? Best not @reply them, or they’ll scream at you saying it’s private.

The #Hashtag Abuser:

This tweeter seems fine at first, it’s not until you follow them for a while you realize they’re tweets are full of hashtags. Now I’m not talking about the person who puts hashtags at the end of tweets for events or topics, I’m talking about the “What a fun day this has been #lol #notreally #itwasstupid” where they use hashtags to say what they really mean. Thankfully they’re usually 12, so you can avoid them.

The Every-Social-Network-Ever Tweeter:

One of the most annoying Tweeters. They think that Twitter is a social dumping ground rather than a micro-blogging site. They’re timeline is filled with Foursquare checkins, Tumblr posts, they’ve even got it set up to tweet their Internet history! Best to avoid.

The Retweeter:

The only Tweeter you will ever need to follow. Their timeline is a list of all of the above tweeters retweeted with comments attached. “Lol RT:”s and “+1”s will be abundant. Incredibly annoying, or a time saving follow? You decide.

(Source: cdl.me)