cdl.me

It is 2011, I know this because that’s what my phone says. Since we are so far in the future these are things that I don’t understand why they still exist.

Books

Why are there still books? This doesn’t make sense when we have kindles and iPads and those stupid Motorola tablets. Every day when I’m checking one of the webcomic/blogs I read I see “I AM MAKING A BOOK” why? it does not make sense. I get you want to support yourself, but why not release an eBook like a person from 2011.

I like to read. Sometimes I read 3 or 4 words at a time, but I don’t want to lug books around when I want to read them. I have been reading books on my iPad for like 4 months and now when I pick up a normal book it’s like I’m in the 1700’s and I get confused and I enslave my black neighbors and I get arrested and really it would just be better if all books were eBooks.

DVDs

My sister bought a DVD yesterday and the first thing I thought was WHY?! That’s stupid. You could easily download (legally or illegally) the movie at DVD quality in like a few minutes.

Plus it’s so much easier if you have something to stream them to your TV. YOU NEVER HAVE TO GET OUT OF YOUR CHAIR TO CHANGE THE MOVIE! LIKE, EVER!

Shops

I’m not 100% sure of this because I last left the house 3 years ago, but apparently there are still shopping centers around. That makes no sense when you can buy everything you want online. You might now be saying “But what about clothes? How will I try on clothes before buying them?” Well Mr. Genius Face, if you don’t leave the house you don’t NEED clothes. I haven’t worn pants in so long that I’m not even sure how they work anymore.

Movie Theaters

I went to the movies a few weeks ago (“BUT CHRISTOPHER YOU SAID YOU HAVEN’T LEFT THE HOUSE IN 3 YEARS!” HEY SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET ME TELL MY STORY!) and I wondered why I was there. Why aren’t we able to download movies straight away? IT MAKES NO SENSE AT ALL! GIVE ME MY MOVIES NOW YOU SLUTS!

Human Interaction

WHY DO I EVEN HAVE TO HANG AROUND PEOPLE WHEN THERE’S THE INTERNET AND I CAN JUST SIT HERE AND STARE AT PICTURES OF CATS OKAY I DON’T WANT TO BE NEAR YOU OR YOUR STUPID FACE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!