cdl.me

I was reading a blog by the super wonderful Vanessa and she said she hates cats because they’re ugly and would eat you if you died but that’s one of the reasons I love cats.

See, I plan to grow old alone. I am a horrible person who will never find love, I know this. Being a horrible old person I will surround myself with thousands of cats. Okay, not thousand. Maybe like 20 or something. I will love my cats, and when I die which will be in my house alone, I want them to eat me. There will be no food left, so I want all my cats to eat me. That will sustain them for a little while, and eventually they’ll get hungry again and be forced to eat each other. Slowly the weakest of the cats will be picked off one by one until there is only one cat left. One insane cat that has tasted the flesh of the innocent and loves it.

With this kitty’s new found blood lust and strength he (or she) will burst through the window of the house and go on a murder rampage. Murdering and eating everyone in his/her path until he/she is the last living thing left on Earth!

Then he/she will die of hunger. The main point is, my cat will destroy all life on Earth, and that’s what all I have ever wanted.

I love cats.