cdl.me

I was going to draw a bunch of cards for Valentines day but I’m lazy, so instead here are some romantic things to write in your V-Day cards:

1. I bought you a diamond, can I stick it in your butt now?
2. I promise to stop making your dog lick peanut butter off my ballsack
3. Roses are red, violets are blue, I want to butt fuck you.
4. I love you kind of, like not like love love, but I do love sticking stuff in your vagina
5. If you lost some weight I probably wouldn’t fantasize about cheating on you so much.
6. Here’s $10, buy something nice, like food. Seriously we are out of food get off your lazy cunt-ass and buy some.
7. If we had a safe word it would be “don’t stop” because I never want to stop loving you
8. I wrote a haiku. I forgot how many syllables this thing needs. Is this too many? I love you.
9. If you were a horse with a broken leg I’d feel kind of bad for making you into glue because of how much I love you.
10. anal?