cdl.me

Welcome to a brand new series of blogs called “History Lessons” where I will teach you the true history of everything. Most of the things you think you know are all lies, people don’t want you to know the true origins of a lot of things, so that’s where I step in. Enjoy.

The origin of the hotdog:

Everyone likes hotdogs. They’re easy to make when you’re home alone for the 4th Saturday night in a row and you’ve eaten all the icecream in your freezer, I mean, sure you could go out and buy more icecream, but you’ve lost the will to put on clothes after that stupid whore cheated on you with 4 guys in one night. YOU CAN’T FUCKING BLAME ALCOHOL FOR THAT YOU SLUT! So…anyway, yeah, hotdogs are great, but do you know the origins?

Back in the 1700’s or whenever the fuck the great depression and plague and all that shit was, people were running low on food. Since everyone had a hunting dog to catch things with they decided to just eat the dogs. After eating all but 3 of the towns dogs they know they’d still need them to catch other animals. They didn’t know what to do; they were all hungry, but if they ate the last of the dogs they’d have no way to catch any other animals.

One of the towns folks spoke up “What if we just eat the dogs penis, I mean, he doesn’t need it to catch other animals”. Everyone agreed this was an amazing idea so they cut off the first dogs penis and each took a bite. It was horrible. Truely the most digusting thing they ever ate. They ended up eating the dog, leaving only 2 dogs. “I’ve got it!” said another townsfolks “Let’s shove it in some bread, and smother it in crushed tomato to mask the horrible taste!”

Hundreds of years later and hotdogs are still one of the most popular food items out there. Of course, they’re no longer made of dogs penis, but the name Hotrandompiecesofleftovermeatprocessedintosomesortosfsausagelikefood doesn’t sound as good.

Until next time!