cdl.me

It’s Valentines day (or as lonely people call it “OH GOD WHY AM I SO ALONE?!” day). I, being the master of seduction that I am, have decided to give you all some pick up lines that will 60% of the time work every time.

• I was going to tweet about how amazing you are, but I couldn’t do it in under 140 characters (or, I was going to vlog about how amazing you are, but YouTube only lets you upload 15 minute videos)
• My love for you is like Gmail’s email storage size, forever growing (Gmail’s storage keeps going up like it used to, right? If it doesn’t disregard this one)
• If I looted you in WoW, you’d be an epic item
• If you were mine I would #FF you every week
• I’d let my tomatoes wither if it meant spending time with you (Farmville reference)
• If you were a movie, I’d download you legally.
• Let’s have sex

There you go, now go forth and have intercourse meaningful relationships.