cdl.me

As I get older I know eventually I’ll start having to doing adult things. This frightens me. I can’t be an adult, I still make farting sounds with my hands when I shower.

One of the first thing you have to do to be an adult is move out of your parents house. This would be fine if I could move out alone, but as movies/TV/Real life has taught me I will probably end up with a crappy job and have to move out with other people to afford a place that isn’t in the sewers. This is a thing I can not do. I could never live with people I didn’t know. Even people I do know I couldn’t and here’s some reasons why

1. Being clothed

If I lived with people it means I would have to wear clothes all the time. I couldn’t just walk around in my underwear like I do now. Even if the people I lived with didn’t mind me doing it, I still couldn’t. I’d feel exposed. Maybe if all my roommates where nudists or something I could, but otherwise I couldn’t.

2. Showering

When I shower I take a long time. Like super long. Sometimes half an hour. You could be all “You’re killing the planet bla bla” but I don’t care. If I’m going to wash myself I’m going to do it good. If I lived with people I wouldn’t be able to take long showers because I’d use up all the hot water for them, and probably have to pay more for water which is stupid. You shouldn’t have to pay for something that FALLS FROM THE SKIES!

3. Living with people

The biggest problem would be being around the people all the time. I do not like being near people. I prefer being in my room with food and not having to leave for days at a time.

That being said I could live with girl nudists. In fact, this is my new goal in life.